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I am on my 4th decade on the planet.
I am so grateful to my Creator for giving me a beautiful life to enjoy. I just wish I would live longer and enjoy more decades on planet Earth.
Every decade gave me great lessons which I will treasure till I grow very old and will gladly share with my dear DS and future GCs. Some are funny, painful and life-changing.
Significant lessons learned…
First Decade:
There is more to life than toys and escaping grandparents at siesta time and fooling around. I used to think that playing “patintero” and “bahay-bahayan” would fulfill my existence as a human being. My maternal GM used to lock the front door of their old house during vacation days to ensure that I take a nap every afternoon. On several occasions, I managed to outwit my GM, escape with my equally rowdy cousins and run around chasing dragonflies in the rice fields or climbing our neighbor’s guava tree. One time, I set fire on a portion of my GM’s dirty kitchen when one of the cardboards used to start fire got burned after playing a box of matches and “watusi”.
Santa Claus isn’t real. Santa Claus is just a fictional character used by people who failed to buy a gift for a kid on Christmas. My Ma used to say, “Better go and get plenty of sleep so you’ll have enough energy to talk to Santa and ask any gift you want.” Why is it that whenever I wake up in time for the midnight meal (noche buena), my sister would always say “You overslept. He just left but gave you something under the Christmas tree.” Until I caught my Pa forcing to stuff a doll (I wished for Christmas) in a small socks behind our main door.
You will not go to jail when you unintentionally hurt someone. The policeman is a uniformed man used by parents to stop a naughty child. Uh-oh… You will not go to jail when you run over another child with your sister’s bicycle. That incident in the 80’s really scared me and made me literally hide under my GM’s bed due fear of the uniformed men. It was a hot summer afternoon when my cousins invited me to go biking. Corn cobs are everywhere and were even dried on the cemented streets. We were racing when a child smaller than I, crossed the street while eating steamed corn. After hitting him, I instantly ran away like a fugitive while another neighbor was screaming to the hurt child in Ilocano “Hala, napungsi amin nga ngipen nan” (Hala, all his teeth fell off.”). My teenage cousins scared me telling me that the police are going to get me. Hmmm, bullying was not an issue then.
Second Decade:
You cannot look at your crush straight into his eyes without blushing. I hide whenever I see my crush. My crush was tall (but I was taller), not so dark and quite cute (but BH is more good looking! Hihihi!). He’s no Bradley Cooper or Matthew McConaughey, but he was cute. I can’t look at him when he talks to me and when he’s not around I shriek like a cat. As I grew older, I realized that cute is only for pets. So, the idea of crush was crushed and I loved my dogs more. Hahahaha! Only to realize that he also liked me. Huwaw!
High school is full of bullies. Most high school girls are vain. What is important to you in high school may not be when in college. High school life is a breeze. Breeze of bullies and bullied (I belong to both), vain boys and girls and fashion conscious kids. Getting my high school education from an exclusive school for girls, I had my share of bullying and getting bullied. It was only when I experienced the latter that I felt bad and stopped my “evil” deeds. I guess, it was part of my growing up and becoming sensitive of other people’s feelings. I used to call one of my shy classmates with mean names. When I reached the 3rd year, a transferee (who later became my bestfriend) called me “negra”. I almost knocked her off because I was bigger. Girls are vain and those with the latest cassette tapes of Duran Duran and Spandau Ballet were the coolest, and the girl with the most number of admirers or love letters was the prettiest. I received no such letters when I was in high school. I was not girly. I never liked pink stuff, skirts and fancy ribbons. So, I thought, I was ugly. When high school was about to end, I realized that there’s more to life than Aquanet, Sanrio and slumbooks.
Illness taking over your loved one can make you closer to God and family. The first serious pain I experienced was not related to crushes or love. It involved my mother who was diagnosed with a serious illness. The fear of becoming motherless at an early age shook me up. No mother when I reach 18, on graduation, when I get married and have a child. The idea of having no mother on significant events in one’s life pained me so much. It was then that I became closer to my Creator and prayed seriously. My Ma survived her first surgery.
College is not about your course but your life after getting a degree. Going through college is a challenge for me. As a child, I dreamed of becoming an architect, then a news anchor, then a policewoman and then a lawyer. The transition from one dream to another was abrupt as I aged. My Pa used to tell me and my sister that we were not rich and that we only have one chance in college. Choose your course well because there are no second chances for both of us to shift courses or fool around. It was a legitimate threat. He taught us to choose a life after we get our degrees. I was aging well, I thought.
Third Decade:
Boyfriends are distractions when you want something better in life. A boyfriend is a necessity when friends around you start to plan their wedding. Falling in love on your late 20’s may end up in marriage. Life is full of surprises- you may end up marrying an old friend who’s only around the neighborhood your entire childhood. The best wedding gift is when both your parents are alive to give their blessings on your marriage.
I enjoyed college without having a boyfriend. I know they are distractions especially when you fall in love too much. But when you’re over 25, you start to panic and everyone will think you belong to the third sex. Hahaha! But love can wait and may come unexpected. Meeting my former classmate and friend after years of not seeing each other ended up in a marriage. I was lucky both my parents were still alive on my altar trip.
Grandparents love their grandchildren more.Your parents will contradict every parenting style you try to establish on your own. “You were like this when my grandchild is your age so, you have to do this and that…” Why do you have to do that to my apo, etc. etc. From feeding bottles to sleeping time, they’ll drive you nuts.
In-laws (no matter what degree), are a social necessity; you adjust reasonably since you are a newcomer to the pack. Law of nature: your partner did not just appear out of nowhere. The best proof: HE HAS A BELLY BUTTON! Get it! He came from a mother and sired by a father. But relationships with in-laws need to have limitations. No meddling with finances, properties, major decisions, name of children, venue for birthdays, fashion style and of course SEX LIFE. Big No No No! Married life is between you and your partner. Nobody brought you together but yourselves-not even the in-laws. Any offense on the spouse is an offense against you.
Do not brag about your achievements, some people may take advantage of your generosity. Sometimes, we need a little bragging to project a certain impression on others. It can also define how others will treat you. If you stay TOO HUMBLE, you may end up as a doormat and others will take you for granted. But when you brag too much, people will take advantage. Lifting yourself too much may leave you too high that you wont be able to figure out how to go down. Balance is the key.
Parents are the repositories of wisdom, even if sometimes they can drive you crazy.They studied life for their entire lifetime and you are still in the process of living life. Sometimes, it’s worthwhile to listen to their fear of technology and how the world becomes smaller. The old form of socialization binds relationship longer and stronger. They don’t buy what they don’t need because they spent a lifetime listing what the necessities are. They don’t breed anger, because they know that life is a breeze. They were teenagers once and now they're old.
Fourth Decade:
The fourth decade is the most painful for me. It’s that time in life that you lose some of your loved ones and close relatives you’ve been with since childhood.
The fourth decade is when you become wiser that you were on your 20's.
The fourth decade is when you strengthen your bond with your better half and establish a closer and meaningful relationship with your child.
The fourth decade is when you start to gain weight and lose interest to move around.
The fourth decade is when you gradually realize what you need, whom to trust and what to dispense and add.
The fourth decade is the time when you count how many years you need to save for your retirement.
The fourth decade is when you realize that friends who stayed with you for three decades and your new true friends possess the same qualities. They come in different times but they care for you just the same.
The fourth decade is when you become comfortable with your career. You begin to understand that some bosses are grumpy sometimes, but sensitive also on certain times.
The fourth decade is when you realize that your better half also age and that your child is starting to become reasonable. And then you see yourself in him/her.
The fourth decade is the time for stocking up moisturizers, night cream and different brands of facial care products. Hahahaha!
The fourth decade is a decade of experiments in diet, dealing with weight gain and wondering whether calories do really get burned. You insist on wearing tight-fitting clothes you used to hate and regret not wearing it when you were younger. Hahaha!
The fourth decade can trigger a bad hair day, especially when a gray or white hair peeks from your temple. Oh the horror!
The fourth decade can leave a smile on your face when you hear Debbie Gibson or When in Rome on the retro-radio.
The fourth decade is when relatives you have not seen for a very long time will tell you "You still look great and haven't age a bit." Please get real!!! Don't lie!
The fourth decade is the beginning of life. Material things will not matter. What you have will be your principles and values established as you age.
Midlife is not a crisis at all. It is actually the beginning of appreciation, acceptance and living life fully to enjoy even the small things it has to offer. You start to share strength and impart the little wisdom accruing over time.
Im proud of my age!
X @ 40
